anger management
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Do you have a child who has anger managing issues? Or is your child struggling to handle their own anger against everyone else? Children are often not given the chance to express their voices in many situations. They are often expected to hold in their anger and just bypass them. Here are 10 best ways to assist children in anger management that can play a huge impact on their daily lives.


As parents, we often want our kids to listen to everything we say or ask of them, yet we lack the same listening skills ourselves. We come contradicting when we want something done, yet we don’t do it in return. If we want help our children with their anger management skills, one of the first things to improve on is our listening skills. We need to listen and hear them out on what needs to be said. Something anger builds up because they can’t express everything they want to say.

Give Them Space

Giving space is a very broad term yet something that we can all have and need. When frustration arises and the child need anger management, give them space and let them learn to calm themselves down first. Whether they need to walk away from the problem or take a breather in their room, let them find some peace.

See It From Their Point Of View

Sometimes it’ shard to see things in other people’s point of view because we’re so caught up on our own views. What we see is what seems right, but it’s not always the case. Instead of always thinking that we as parents are right, try seeing it in their point of view. A new light of understanding may rise when you take that minute to see it in a different perspective.

Keep Them And Yourself Safe

When people get angry, it can sometimes lead in to physical involvements. Those physical components can be hitting, throwing, punching, biting, and etc depending on the age of each person. For the little ones, especially, they’re only source of communication can be biting, hitting, or spitting at times. For these reasons, it’s best to keep everyone safe. Sometimes, anger can lead to self abuse, hurting themselves as well. Making sure that the surrounding areas is as safe as possible is also a priority in these circumstances.

Model An Appropriate Anger Management Skills

When a child sees their parents acting or doing something, they often want to follow or mimic that. In order to help them with their anger management, modeling an example of an appropriate way can be helpful. Expressing feelings and talking about the frustration is always a plus. It’s okay to say “I’m angry or upset.” Those are valid feelings. Now where you go with that can be the changing factor. Define the cause of the anger and see what possible solutions are available. When a valid expression is acknowledged, the kids will feel appreciation and somewhat of a comfort.

Reinforcements And Consequences

Sometimes being positively reinforced or having consequence are a simple way to deal with anger managements. Once expectations of what an appropriate anger management skills are defined, let the child know the results of those behaviors. When the skills are practiced correctly, provide a reward or reinforcements to encourage that behavior. On the other hand, if it is practiced incorrectly, show a consequence of losing a privilege or getting an item taken away temporarily. Go with the rule you both agree on.

Validate Anger As A Feeling

Although we often say that being angry is not a good thing, but it needs to be validated as a feeling. It’s okay to be angry because it’s a feeling. If you feel upset, let that feeling ride through. Let the child express that feeling, but in an appropriate way and area. Allow the child to feel that emotion and help them express it in a way that doesn’t create an unsafe environment.

Be Calm

Being calm and helping them be calm is also a crucial part of being angry. Often when we see that child being angry, we can overreact as well. Instead, in order your child get calm, stay calm yourself. Talk in a tone that the child can understand and can see that things can be resolved in a calm manner as well.

Provide a Squishy Toy/Stress Ball

Having something to turn to when an angry feeling arises can also be a helpful tool. Have a squishy or a stress ball for them that they can use when they get angry. Let them express their angry feeling towards that tool so that it can help them manifest that feeling without causing any harm to themselves or anyone else.

Drawing Materials

Ask them to draw or scribble when the angry feelings arise. Sometimes, drawing or scribbling their feelings can help them express that anger. Even attempting to draw what makes the child angry can help lead to a solution quicker. Coloring a picture or even a blank paper brings out the calmness and the ease of your mood somehow. I often turn to coloring when I feel anger coming on because it helps me relax.

Anger is a common feeling amongst children that is often neglected which can become bigger issues if not deal with right away. Helping children cope with anger when it happens can assist them in managing it better.

Related: children

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  1. We try to teach our daughter feel breathing to help her can calm down during her anger.

  2. Patricia Chamberlain

    These are great tips! Staying calm when a little one is upset is one of the most important ways things a parent can do to help when a child is struggling with anger.

  3. Love these tips. I try to listen and give my daughter space when needed.

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